Back in Makati, given a massive responsibility by my boss for a project we are working on. Half way through the research I felt anxious, I needed to release the tension. The only medium for this of course, is blog writing.
My escape, my safe haven…has always been literary expression. Sometimes music though, but anyway. A lot of things have been plaguing my thoughts as of late that I just need to put them all down.
So the past few weeks has been awesome for me, I have been meeting with friends from back in Pampanga, here in Makati as though I had never left my hometown. I am blessed with awesome friends 🙂 It is because of this however, that I have been faced with queries regarding an impending relationship with a select few.
What is it with relationships? Do you need to be in one after ending another? Is there really a need to fill in the space, to close the gap, to cover the void? In the past I may have been that way. Wanting to end one relationship with the beginning of another, or go on dates continuously until a hint of attraction suddenly ignites.
But this is not how I see things anymore…
Sometimes you need to find yourself, concentrate on your own wants and needs, be selfish and venture out into places you would not have otherwise had the time to go to if you were in a relationship. I spent the past couple of years since my last breakup, just finding myself. Working my way up and paving the path for my future. I was on an achiever’s streak. I wanted to be so fulfilled with my life that it felt awesome. I did not want to sacrifice the success I was feeling with a relationship. This is how I paved my life since then.
Then there’s the manifesto. I felt as though I needed to become one with God, to be closer to him and to concentrate more on finding the right path. I never really saw myself getting into another relationship anytime soon.
But what if God wanted me to?
I am not pressured to make a choice, but I don’t know how to set a boundary for something if I myself cannot be sure of what is staring me in the face.
Maybe it’s time to clear my thoughts. Time for a social hiatus.
Love is a risk, I just don’t know if I am ready to take that risk yet.
Those who stay are treasured, those who leave? Well then, it was just never meant to be 🙂