As the year 2012 is slowly drawing to a close, I could not help but contemplate on my life at this moment in time.
As aspiring as I may seem to be, I do get frustrated at times when I fail to achieve my set goals. There are a number of things I had aimed to accomplish this year and though I have achieved a considerable lot, I cannot help but look back at those I have left behind.
This coming year (when the end-of-the-world scare simmers down) I plan on doing more to accomplish that which I have so yearned for. I need to be more productive, to aim and strive for more and actually accomplish something worthwhile. I cannot wallow in my own self pity and threshold of disappointing demeanor’s.
It is true, I have not been myself lately. Otherwise, I would have been able to do a great deal more. I do not know if I am being held back, or if I am holding myself back. I just want to do so much…as much as I can.
I wish I could just wash this pain away. To not look back and remember every memory that broke my heart, every amount of physical, mental and emotional pain that has scarred my soul. I feel so restrained, so worthless, so unloved.